A collection of feature articles, personal essays, and community stories to add a little sunshine to your day!
Showing posts with label article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label article. Show all posts
30 October 2009
30 March 2009
Young Carers Making a Difference
Almost all five-year-olds are obsessed with Dora or Spiderman and the biggest chore they are responsible for is probably putting toys away at the end of the day.
For Brittney Groves, now 17, cartoons and toys had to wait until she was done giving her father his Alzheimer’s medication or keeping him occupied and safe.
Brittney’s father started to show signs of dementia when she was born, but by the time she started kindergarten “it all started to come loose,” says her mother, Sandra Groves.
“Those two were as thick as theives,” Groves says. “He used to be easy-going, but then he became snaky and snotty. She couldn’t do anything with him anymore and she couldn’t understand why.”
Angela Arsenio, project manager of the Powerhouse Project Young Carers Initiative(YCI), says it’s especially difficult for a child when someone they love has Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia.
“A lot of the times with children the challenge is that the person they knew before is still here, but that person is really not the same. So some of the activities and fun things they used to do with that person, they can’t do anymore,” she says.
Brittney says it was hard when she younger because her relationship with her father changed completely.
They used to take long walks and loved looking at cars and boats. Then one day all of it stopped.
Brittney took on a parental role, along side her mother, and one of her most important tasks was to make sure her father took his medication.
“He wouldn’t co-operate for me,” says Sandra. “But she’d wrap him around her little finger and he’d co-operate for her. He could be quite the handful, but Brittney helped out so much. She’d bake him a pie or figure out another way to keep him occupied. One of the things he loved to do was the dishes. So she’d be in the kitchen with him just doing dishes.”
Brittney says at times it was hard to cope, but being surrounded by supportive people and having someone to talk honestly with helped her deal with the stress.
Sandra says children need to be able to talk and shouldn’t feel guilty about bad feelings they may have about the person with dementia.
“Let them know it’s not their fault,” she says. “Don’t minimize their feelings and keep communication open. Let them say what they need to and respect what they say,”
Arsenio agrees. “Let them acknowledge how they feel. A lot of time they feel guilty or sad or uncomfortable,” she says. “Let them know their feelings are real. Let them know how valued their care giving is.”
Sandra equates having to cope with a loved one’s Alzheimer’s to a repetitive death.
“Every time there’s a funeral and somebody dies you have closure. They’re dead. They’re in a casket. They’re buried,” she says. “A person with dementia…it’s like a part of him dies. He’s not the person you remember- but he’s still here. So everything you’ve built with him is no longer there. What do you do? You grieve.”
And you keep grieving over and over, she says.
Brittney connected with other children dealing with the same circumstances as she through programs such as Treasured Memories organized by the Alzheimer Society of Niagara Region (ASNR).
Treasured Memories is a workshop where children can share their experiences and realize they are not as isolated as they feel.
Brittney says she made friends for life and is grateful for all the support she received. “ It was great just talking to people who understood.”
Brittney, a grade 12 student at Thorold Secondary School, says it’s important for children to participate in something they enjoy doing and getting time to just be a kid.
“Reading and my pets were my escape,” she says. And art was also very important to her. “Whenever he (her father) was in a bad mood I’d just go and draw.”
Brittney volunteers to help children deal with the pain of having a loved one with dementia and has given many lectures on the topic. Her story and drawings have also been used in literature used by both ASNR and YCI.
“Brittney has accomplished so much,” says Sandra. “And she’s very confident and independent. She has great leadership skills and has such a good influence on people that even her teachers ask her to help them out with students.”
Arsenio says because they‘ve had to take on such a key role within the family unit, young carers usually become “extremely responsible. They’re very mature and comfortable with decision making and have confidence in themselves.”
Brittney’s father now receives permanent care in a hospital, and Brittney says she is relieved that her care-giving role is over.
“She gets to be a kid again,” says Sandra.
For more information about Alzheimer’s Disease please call (905) 687-3914
For more information about the Young Carers Initiative please call (905)834-3639 ext. 276
Or visit the following websites:
http://www.youngcarers.ca/
http://www.alzheimerniagara.ca/
For Brittney Groves, now 17, cartoons and toys had to wait until she was done giving her father his Alzheimer’s medication or keeping him occupied and safe.
Brittney’s father started to show signs of dementia when she was born, but by the time she started kindergarten “it all started to come loose,” says her mother, Sandra Groves.
“Those two were as thick as theives,” Groves says. “He used to be easy-going, but then he became snaky and snotty. She couldn’t do anything with him anymore and she couldn’t understand why.”
Angela Arsenio, project manager of the Powerhouse Project Young Carers Initiative(YCI), says it’s especially difficult for a child when someone they love has Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia.
“A lot of the times with children the challenge is that the person they knew before is still here, but that person is really not the same. So some of the activities and fun things they used to do with that person, they can’t do anymore,” she says.
Brittney says it was hard when she younger because her relationship with her father changed completely.
They used to take long walks and loved looking at cars and boats. Then one day all of it stopped.
Brittney took on a parental role, along side her mother, and one of her most important tasks was to make sure her father took his medication.
“He wouldn’t co-operate for me,” says Sandra. “But she’d wrap him around her little finger and he’d co-operate for her. He could be quite the handful, but Brittney helped out so much. She’d bake him a pie or figure out another way to keep him occupied. One of the things he loved to do was the dishes. So she’d be in the kitchen with him just doing dishes.”
Brittney says at times it was hard to cope, but being surrounded by supportive people and having someone to talk honestly with helped her deal with the stress.
Sandra says children need to be able to talk and shouldn’t feel guilty about bad feelings they may have about the person with dementia.
“Let them know it’s not their fault,” she says. “Don’t minimize their feelings and keep communication open. Let them say what they need to and respect what they say,”
Arsenio agrees. “Let them acknowledge how they feel. A lot of time they feel guilty or sad or uncomfortable,” she says. “Let them know their feelings are real. Let them know how valued their care giving is.”
Sandra equates having to cope with a loved one’s Alzheimer’s to a repetitive death.
“Every time there’s a funeral and somebody dies you have closure. They’re dead. They’re in a casket. They’re buried,” she says. “A person with dementia…it’s like a part of him dies. He’s not the person you remember- but he’s still here. So everything you’ve built with him is no longer there. What do you do? You grieve.”
And you keep grieving over and over, she says.
Brittney connected with other children dealing with the same circumstances as she through programs such as Treasured Memories organized by the Alzheimer Society of Niagara Region (ASNR).
Treasured Memories is a workshop where children can share their experiences and realize they are not as isolated as they feel.
Brittney says she made friends for life and is grateful for all the support she received. “ It was great just talking to people who understood.”
Brittney, a grade 12 student at Thorold Secondary School, says it’s important for children to participate in something they enjoy doing and getting time to just be a kid.
“Reading and my pets were my escape,” she says. And art was also very important to her. “Whenever he (her father) was in a bad mood I’d just go and draw.”
Brittney volunteers to help children deal with the pain of having a loved one with dementia and has given many lectures on the topic. Her story and drawings have also been used in literature used by both ASNR and YCI.
“Brittney has accomplished so much,” says Sandra. “And she’s very confident and independent. She has great leadership skills and has such a good influence on people that even her teachers ask her to help them out with students.”
Arsenio says because they‘ve had to take on such a key role within the family unit, young carers usually become “extremely responsible. They’re very mature and comfortable with decision making and have confidence in themselves.”
Brittney’s father now receives permanent care in a hospital, and Brittney says she is relieved that her care-giving role is over.
“She gets to be a kid again,” says Sandra.
For more information about Alzheimer’s Disease please call (905) 687-3914
For more information about the Young Carers Initiative please call (905)834-3639 ext. 276
Or visit the following websites:
http://www.youngcarers.ca/
http://www.alzheimerniagara.ca/
Article Originally Published by Welland Tribune -2009
13 February 2008
Love Songs
Songs are powerful and timeless.
A moment, seemingly forgotten, can be relived with the simple opening chords of a song.
“That’s what music does,” says Peter Morena, the operations manager of 91.7 GiantFM in Welland. “A song will always evoke emotion. That’s the great thing about music.”
A good song will instantly transport a person back to the very minute they first heard it.
This is especially true with love songs.
Morena’s first slow dance was to Hey Jude, by the Beatles, when he was in grade eight.
He says when he hears the song now it takes him “back to that moment. The whole thing about being in grade eight and being thirteen.” He says the song was “long and slow” and just what a teenager wants.
Brian Salmon, 91.7’s music director and morning show host, has a similar experience, but with a different song.
“My first slow dance was Slow Dancing and Swaying to the Music by Johnny Rivers when I was in elementary school. It makes me think of the girl I had a crush on. Songs are very powerful. They can evoke a lot of emotions,” he says.
Especially with Valentine’s Day peeking around the corner.
Salmon says the radio station receives more requests for love songs now than at any other time of year. And many of the songs requested are classics from generations ago.
“Angel from Aerosmith gets requested a lot. And Rod Stewart’s Have I Told You Lately That I Love You gets requested quite a bit too,” he says.
What makes a song survive year after year? Morena and Salmon agree that it comes down to lyrics.
“The lyrics are the foundation. Everything else has to be there as well, but the lyrics are the foundation of a good song,” says Morena.
Darren Coverdale, lead guitarist for Welland band, Sukkapunch, says lyrics and melody must be strong for a classic love song.
“I think it is a combination of both,” he says. “You have to have a melody that fits the lyrics and accentuates it. You can have really great lyrics, but if you don’t have the great
music behind it, then it’s not part of the package.”
Coverdale, 29, writes some of Sukkapunch’s songs and says he starts “with a melody first.” But it is emotions and experiences that “dictate how we play and what we write.”
He says it doesn’t matter when a song was written as long as it is “very soulful and very genuine.” He can also remember his first slow dance.
“It was November Rain by Guns and Roses. Every time I hear it now I can still picture where I was and how everything looked.”
One song that will remain on the play list of school dances for eternity is Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, says Salmon.
“No matter how old you get when you hear that song you think ‘oh yeah!’ It’s got everything in it. It’s slow and it’s got that great rock bit through the middle of it.”
Morena agrees that Stairway to Heaven “is a great song” with “powerful, powerful lyrics.”
And when it comes to the Canadian artist who writes the most powerful ballads, everyone agrees with Salmon’s opinion.
“Without a doubt it is Bryan Adams. His song (Everything I Do) I Do it for You was the number one song for a long time.”
Coverdale says, “That was a hugely successful song from a Canadian artist. Even throughout all his albums he’s very love and relationship oriented.”
Amanda Ettinger, a music lover in Welland, agrees that “Bryan Adams is a gem among Canadians,” and believes that Celine Dion is also a very powerful Canadian artist with a talent for ballads.
“Celine Dion takes the cake. She is a huge international star and has shown the world what talent Canada has,” she says.
Songs provide a personal soundtrack to our lives. First dances and first kisses remain frozen in time because of the magic of a love song. Comfort is sought in the lyrics of a song that seems written just for you as you cope with your first heartbreak.
Choose a love song for your relationship wisely this Valentine’s Day. Fifty years from now you will be instantly brought back to this very moment as soon as you hear the first notes of your song. Make sure the memory is a good one.
You can check out Sukkapunch at www.myspace.com/sukkapunchrocks
A moment, seemingly forgotten, can be relived with the simple opening chords of a song.
“That’s what music does,” says Peter Morena, the operations manager of 91.7 GiantFM in Welland. “A song will always evoke emotion. That’s the great thing about music.”
A good song will instantly transport a person back to the very minute they first heard it.
This is especially true with love songs.
Morena’s first slow dance was to Hey Jude, by the Beatles, when he was in grade eight.
He says when he hears the song now it takes him “back to that moment. The whole thing about being in grade eight and being thirteen.” He says the song was “long and slow” and just what a teenager wants.
Brian Salmon, 91.7’s music director and morning show host, has a similar experience, but with a different song.
“My first slow dance was Slow Dancing and Swaying to the Music by Johnny Rivers when I was in elementary school. It makes me think of the girl I had a crush on. Songs are very powerful. They can evoke a lot of emotions,” he says.
Especially with Valentine’s Day peeking around the corner.
Salmon says the radio station receives more requests for love songs now than at any other time of year. And many of the songs requested are classics from generations ago.
“Angel from Aerosmith gets requested a lot. And Rod Stewart’s Have I Told You Lately That I Love You gets requested quite a bit too,” he says.
What makes a song survive year after year? Morena and Salmon agree that it comes down to lyrics.
“The lyrics are the foundation. Everything else has to be there as well, but the lyrics are the foundation of a good song,” says Morena.
Darren Coverdale, lead guitarist for Welland band, Sukkapunch, says lyrics and melody must be strong for a classic love song.
“I think it is a combination of both,” he says. “You have to have a melody that fits the lyrics and accentuates it. You can have really great lyrics, but if you don’t have the great
music behind it, then it’s not part of the package.”
Coverdale, 29, writes some of Sukkapunch’s songs and says he starts “with a melody first.” But it is emotions and experiences that “dictate how we play and what we write.”
He says it doesn’t matter when a song was written as long as it is “very soulful and very genuine.” He can also remember his first slow dance.
“It was November Rain by Guns and Roses. Every time I hear it now I can still picture where I was and how everything looked.”
One song that will remain on the play list of school dances for eternity is Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, says Salmon.
“No matter how old you get when you hear that song you think ‘oh yeah!’ It’s got everything in it. It’s slow and it’s got that great rock bit through the middle of it.”
Morena agrees that Stairway to Heaven “is a great song” with “powerful, powerful lyrics.”
And when it comes to the Canadian artist who writes the most powerful ballads, everyone agrees with Salmon’s opinion.
“Without a doubt it is Bryan Adams. His song (Everything I Do) I Do it for You was the number one song for a long time.”
Coverdale says, “That was a hugely successful song from a Canadian artist. Even throughout all his albums he’s very love and relationship oriented.”
Amanda Ettinger, a music lover in Welland, agrees that “Bryan Adams is a gem among Canadians,” and believes that Celine Dion is also a very powerful Canadian artist with a talent for ballads.
“Celine Dion takes the cake. She is a huge international star and has shown the world what talent Canada has,” she says.
Songs provide a personal soundtrack to our lives. First dances and first kisses remain frozen in time because of the magic of a love song. Comfort is sought in the lyrics of a song that seems written just for you as you cope with your first heartbreak.
Choose a love song for your relationship wisely this Valentine’s Day. Fifty years from now you will be instantly brought back to this very moment as soon as you hear the first notes of your song. Make sure the memory is a good one.
You can check out Sukkapunch at www.myspace.com/sukkapunchrocks
Article Originally Published in Welland Tribune - 2008
Front Page
13 December 2007
A Circle of Hope
Crystal Parsons can be seen dishing out hot food for hungry families three days a week. She can be seen stuffing boxes full of non-perishable items meant to feed a family of four for a month. She can be seen counseling abused women and offering them an alternative to the constant violence in their lives. She can also be seen crying, alone in her office, at the end of most days.
“You learn to shut your office door, have a good cry, and move on to the next task,”says Parsons. Parsons, 29, is the Seasonal Programs Coordinator at Welland’s Hope Centre.
The Hope Centre is a non-profit organziation that helps families and individuals suffering in poverty. The Hope Centre provides hot meals and clothing to people in need. It also runs programs that help people upgrade their employability skills, or even learn to read. And there is, of course, a food bank, with shelves that require constant restocking of non-perishable items.
“The community doesn’t realize how much of a need for donations there truly is. Especially during the summer months. In the middle of July it is fairly likely we are empty.Eveything is in demand; there is never anything that we dont need .. peanut butter, cereal and Kraft dinner are the hardest items to keep on the shelf.”
Parsons says at Christmas and during the winter months donations are typically generous, but this year donations have been “lower than usual”. Among the usual donations of pasta and canned goods, Parsons says personal hygeine items are always in demand.
“Think about how many basic items you use in a day,” Parsons says. “Having a hot shower and cleaning yourself is a daily ritual most people take for granted, but soaps and shampoos cost money. If someone can’t afford to buy groceries, then they also can’t afford to buy deodernts, diapers or even toothpaste.”
The Hope Centre usually has between “15 to 35 people using the food bank per day,” she says. “It depends on what day or time of the month it is.”
Anyone is welcome to use the resources at the Hope Centre, and Parsons says they have never had to turn a needy person away, however there “have been months where there is no food on the shelves and the most we can offer them is a jar of pickles. That happens and it is a summer reality. Poverty never sleeps. It happens 365 days a year. We always give what we have, but sometimes it is not sufficient to what people need.”
And it is not just single, out-of-work adults coming into the shelter, says Parsons. There are people with disablitiies and addictions; people with jobs that can’t make ends meet; and even entire families.
“It shocks me how many children go without in our society, and there has to be a way to change this. I want them to have a roof over their head; warm pajamas at night, and food in their tummies. I don’t want them to have to line up just to get a warm meal. But it’s better for them to be lining up at our centre than starving and freezing on the streets.”
Parsons began volunteering for a variety of non-profit organizations about four years ago, after she received help from a women’s shelter herself.
“ I was on my own with two little kids. I had just left a very abusive relationship. I began volunteering to give back to the community, and I haven’t looked back since.”
Parsons say “ there are not enough hours in the day” for the Hope Centre to help everyone and she admits that it does become “emotionally draining” at times, especially when children are involved.
“If I could change one thing about the world it would be that no child ever feels pain. That no child ever goes without necessities. Every single person has basic needs. It’s unfortuante because not everyone can attain these needs without assistance.”
And assisting those in need is what Parsons does best. She says she is driven by the need to make a difference in the lives of others less fortuante than herself.
“I’ve been there. I’ve experienced it. I was able to start over, and now I can help others change their lives. It’s what drives me to get through the day. I’m doing what I love.”
Parsons disagrees when she hears people refer to places like the Hope Centre as a “band-aid solutions.” She says that helping people get on their feets and regaining confidence is the first step towards eventual independence.
“You have to take away the stresses of everyday life if you want a broken person to succeed and repair themselves. How can people change their lives if they are constantly having to choose between paying their hydro bill or buying groceries? How can they become self-confident if they can’t even afford to buy shampoo to wash their hair? We do what we can to help lift the burden of stresses they feel, and guide them in the right direction.”
Parsons says when she sees someone come in and leave with a smile and some dignity, it makes her job worth the hours and stress.
“Just seeing the kids happy makes it worth it. When they leave with a new toy or warm clothes, they are leaving with hope.”
And Parsons is probably the only person who can honestly say she would be happy if she lost her job tomorrow.
“I would jump for joy if my services were never needed again! Oh, my gosh, that would be the perfect day,” she laughs. Unfortunately this perfect day will never exist.
“It will not happen in our lifetime. There are far too many changes that need to be made in our system, and not enough force to make those changes right now. So until that happens, I go home to my husband, cry on his shoulder, and have a good sleep. Then I am ready to do it all over again the next day.”
“You learn to shut your office door, have a good cry, and move on to the next task,”says Parsons. Parsons, 29, is the Seasonal Programs Coordinator at Welland’s Hope Centre.
The Hope Centre is a non-profit organziation that helps families and individuals suffering in poverty. The Hope Centre provides hot meals and clothing to people in need. It also runs programs that help people upgrade their employability skills, or even learn to read. And there is, of course, a food bank, with shelves that require constant restocking of non-perishable items.
“The community doesn’t realize how much of a need for donations there truly is. Especially during the summer months. In the middle of July it is fairly likely we are empty.Eveything is in demand; there is never anything that we dont need .. peanut butter, cereal and Kraft dinner are the hardest items to keep on the shelf.”
Parsons says at Christmas and during the winter months donations are typically generous, but this year donations have been “lower than usual”. Among the usual donations of pasta and canned goods, Parsons says personal hygeine items are always in demand.
“Think about how many basic items you use in a day,” Parsons says. “Having a hot shower and cleaning yourself is a daily ritual most people take for granted, but soaps and shampoos cost money. If someone can’t afford to buy groceries, then they also can’t afford to buy deodernts, diapers or even toothpaste.”
The Hope Centre usually has between “15 to 35 people using the food bank per day,” she says. “It depends on what day or time of the month it is.”
Anyone is welcome to use the resources at the Hope Centre, and Parsons says they have never had to turn a needy person away, however there “have been months where there is no food on the shelves and the most we can offer them is a jar of pickles. That happens and it is a summer reality. Poverty never sleeps. It happens 365 days a year. We always give what we have, but sometimes it is not sufficient to what people need.”
And it is not just single, out-of-work adults coming into the shelter, says Parsons. There are people with disablitiies and addictions; people with jobs that can’t make ends meet; and even entire families.
“It shocks me how many children go without in our society, and there has to be a way to change this. I want them to have a roof over their head; warm pajamas at night, and food in their tummies. I don’t want them to have to line up just to get a warm meal. But it’s better for them to be lining up at our centre than starving and freezing on the streets.”
Parsons began volunteering for a variety of non-profit organizations about four years ago, after she received help from a women’s shelter herself.
“ I was on my own with two little kids. I had just left a very abusive relationship. I began volunteering to give back to the community, and I haven’t looked back since.”
Parsons say “ there are not enough hours in the day” for the Hope Centre to help everyone and she admits that it does become “emotionally draining” at times, especially when children are involved.
“If I could change one thing about the world it would be that no child ever feels pain. That no child ever goes without necessities. Every single person has basic needs. It’s unfortuante because not everyone can attain these needs without assistance.”
And assisting those in need is what Parsons does best. She says she is driven by the need to make a difference in the lives of others less fortuante than herself.
“I’ve been there. I’ve experienced it. I was able to start over, and now I can help others change their lives. It’s what drives me to get through the day. I’m doing what I love.”
Parsons disagrees when she hears people refer to places like the Hope Centre as a “band-aid solutions.” She says that helping people get on their feets and regaining confidence is the first step towards eventual independence.
“You have to take away the stresses of everyday life if you want a broken person to succeed and repair themselves. How can people change their lives if they are constantly having to choose between paying their hydro bill or buying groceries? How can they become self-confident if they can’t even afford to buy shampoo to wash their hair? We do what we can to help lift the burden of stresses they feel, and guide them in the right direction.”
Parsons says when she sees someone come in and leave with a smile and some dignity, it makes her job worth the hours and stress.
“Just seeing the kids happy makes it worth it. When they leave with a new toy or warm clothes, they are leaving with hope.”
And Parsons is probably the only person who can honestly say she would be happy if she lost her job tomorrow.
“I would jump for joy if my services were never needed again! Oh, my gosh, that would be the perfect day,” she laughs. Unfortunately this perfect day will never exist.
“It will not happen in our lifetime. There are far too many changes that need to be made in our system, and not enough force to make those changes right now. So until that happens, I go home to my husband, cry on his shoulder, and have a good sleep. Then I am ready to do it all over again the next day.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)