Morning Moment

The snow falls quietly this morning as I watch Jaevin walk to the bus stop with Dakota. He is bundled up in his light blue snowsuit and looks all lumpy and warm. It will not be long before he refuses to wear his snow pants in an effort to conform and fit in with "all the other kids".

He has journeyed to the bus stop a few times by himself, but each time I am anxious and sentimental. Will he slip? Will he play too closely to the road? Will someone say something mean to him? Will he say something mean to someone else? Will he look back and say, "I don't need you anymore, Mommy."

I have to watch him from the front of our yard. I am ready to bolt, if needed, but at the same time I realize that I am not close enough to protect him from everything. Twice today I started to walk towards them, but made myself stop.

I focus on the beauty of the morning. I often try to "make the city disappear" and visualize that I am back in the country; but even if I were to close my eyes to the cities visual intrusions of cable boxes, fences and paved driveways; the audio garbage would always be present.

There is never a moment of true silence here.

This morning I came close to achieving a "country moment" though.

I stood and watched the snow falling. It was peaceful. There was no wind, and it wasn't cold enough that I had to wear my hat. My ungloved hands were fisted in my pockets. I saw snow falling in front of the trees and looked over toward the park across the street.
There was a fat, black squirrel climbing up the thick trunk of one of the maple-leafless trees.

I looked up and saw two Canada geese flying together and wondered if they were best friends, like Jaevin and Dakota, or were they mother and father, or maybe they were two strangers looking for companionship.

They honked as they flew over my head. Their beaks were long. I pondered how I would be able to describe their sound in my journal. Honk isn't exactly the correct sound, but it is generally the sound that is associated with geese.
Whatever the right word is, they were beautiful.

I looked behind me and saw a tiny nest in a small tree. It was bland and grey looking, but I smiled because it was another sign of nature prevailing in this man made world.