Pieces of Me

i am in demand
constantly
i rush from promise
to
promise
and break the pact to
myself

lists piled high
covering
old lists
with few scratch marks or
check marks

one thought or idea
pushes another forward,
yet still another back

reality and idealism
hide brain mines
stress blast off

i am constantly caught in a
in between world
of
what they need me to be
and what
i need myself to be

i can be all
sometimes

i can be none
sometimes

but always
i am grieving
for the one i am not