a glimpse of jem

i saw a glimpse of jem
yesterday

i saw her
before she saw me
seeing her

a white dress
dark straightened hair
smooth and perfect
still glowing from a jamaican tan
and eyes so blue the sky was jealous

like a bride
but more beautiful

she is leaving high school
leaving home
leaving childhood

she is a contradiction to me
i see her as a woman
on her graduation day

but i close my eyes and she is
only six years old
knocking on my patio door
asking to play with Teddy

i close my eyes and she is
only seven years old
drawing me pictures and writing me stories

i close my eyes and she is
only eight years old
walking down the aisle holding her little sister's hand before me
dressed in white

i miss how she held her belly
when something was so funny

and she laughed
and laughed

grief and joy become one

at this moment

in her white cap and her white gown
standing with her friends
on the cusp of true adulthood

i saw a glimpse of jem
yesterday

and she was beautiful