Those words were said by Mickey Rouke as he accepted his Golden Globe a few weeks ago for his work in The Wrestler, a movie that seems to have reignited Rouke's acting career.
Rouke has brought his 18 year-old Chihuahua, Loki, on most press junkets and red carpet events. He credits Loki, and his other dogs, for being there and helping him get through the toughest periods in his life.And if there were any doubts about how much Rouke loves his pets, he made it clear when he thanked them during his Golden Globe acceptance speech.
Sadly Loki died in Rouke's arms on Monday. It's obvious that Rouke loved Loki as though she were his child, and in many homes that is exactly what a dog becomes. An adopted baby to an adult, or a loyal sibling to a child.
I was raised with dogs in my life, and when I was 18 I had a baby of my own- the cuddly, fluffy kind, that is.
She was a chubby malamute mix resembling a bear cub more than a puppy, and I named her Teddy Bear.She was a gift from a boyfriend, and after a few years the boyfriend was gone, but I still had Teddy. Too bad he wasn't as faithful as the dog.
When I decided to move a few hours from my hometown to attend Niagara College in Welland I was stubborn and determined that Teddy was coming with me. My mother tried to convince me it would be easier to leave Teddy with her, but my motto was: where I go, my dog goes!
The very first apartment we checked out had a large fenced yard and was within walking distance of school. But the thing that I was most excited about was the large dog bowl left over from the previous tenant which indicated that dogs were definitely welcome here. I triumphantly pointed it out to my mother and she sighed and wrote a deposit cheque.
The first night in my apartment I sat on the floor surrounded by several towers of stacked boxes and started crying. I was in a strange city and alone for the first time in my life. My self-pity party was crashed by my eighty pound best friend. She sat in my lap and gently reminded me, as she licked my tear-streaked face, that I wasn't truly alone. Teddy rested her head on my shoulder and cuddled beside me until I fell asleep that night. When I woke up the next morning I realized that if Teddy had faith in my decisions, then I should as well.
As Rouke says, dogs are more than just pets. Dogs are loyal, forgiving and non-judgemental. Most importantly, dogs love you even when you are feeling at your worst. Just as Rouke's dog loved him. He battled addictions and his career took a nose-dive. But at the end of the day his dog was there for him.
When I heard that Rouke's beloved Loki had died I was empathetic and remembered a snowy December morning just over six years ago.
My husband and I watched Teddy chase snowballs and wag her tail all morning and with her puppy-like behaviour we almost believed for a moment that she didn't have a large tumour deforming her jaw.But the vet arriving a few moments later was a undeniable reality check.
I wanted to take Teddy and run. I wanted to scream and cry. But I couldn't let Teddy down. She had spent ten years comforting and reassuring me. This time I would be there for her.
"You're a good girl, Teddy. You're my best friend always. We love you."
I looked into her brown gentle eyes, and I saw the face I remembered seeing for the first time when I was just eighteen years old; a chubby little bear cub with big floppy ears.
And just as Teddy had been there to cuddle me, when I needed her; I was there to hold my best friend, as she fell asleep in my arms one last time.Only true friends can love you unselfishly, unconditionally and with their entire soul and heart. And the truest friend is a dog.
And if Mickey Rouke does win his first Oscar this Sunday, he may not have Loki in his arms to accept the award, but without a doubt Loki will be in his heart.
Column First Published in Welland Tribune- 2009
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